November 14, 2018
Written By Jessica Robinson
Photograph By: Chuck Diguida
I don’t keep it a secret, that I had a traumatic early and young adult life. Many incidents broke my heart, shook the foundation that was supposed to be a safe childhood, and I went through a journey of picking up my internal dialogue of other people’s opinions of me until I began to believe of my unworthiness. A very bleak early start launched me into my early twenties with low-self esteem and absolutely no clue on what it actually means and feels like or even looks like to “love yourself.” I just had no clue, “love yourself,” were only mere words. I know I am not alone and this intro can easily be a statement many people on this planet can share as their own story, but I want to share my thoughts after reading a blog called “Enlightenment Is Real,” by Josh Whiton.
In my late teens and early twenties, I discovered myself in waves of strong emotions, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks that would immobilize me defenseless and it started getting to the point where my fears would be my greatest barriers to accomplish anything without a severe struggle. In pure desperation to feel anything other than the way I was feeling, I found meditation in 2012.
Meditation to me was a tool that helped me put a calm to the anxiety, panic attacks, and stress, but what I did not realize that through my practices and silent retreats, I was beginning to pull back the layers of pain and heal the “story that kept me, prisoner,” most years of my early life.
With every layer that was dissolved, I discovered a new feeling, joy, and happiness, and I became addicted to the natural highs, so I kept diving deeper for more. As I dived deeper, I began to wake up, grow, mature, and truly start to open my eyes, and my intuition (third eye) that always lead me safely as a child became strong again.
This blog about enlightenment makes sense, because with every layer of pain and lies that was removed from my psyche, replacing it would be this “Ah Ha” moment where I would become a little more wiser and smarter, with fewer buttons to push, so I became less reactive and more observant.
Dedicating “Healing” to meet the “Self” and to learn “Love Yourself Unconditionally” in the most simple terms is the path to enlightenment, based off of my own experiences and journey.
Thank you for reading my sisters and brothers. May you all find your journey on this planet a way to grow, learn and truly love yourself, so we may all rise and heal Mother Earth.
Jessica Jane Robinson
Resilience and Miss Alameda